Over-the-knee-punishment

Another

Being stubborn is my fault and on you could not miss my attitude of not letting go, not wanting to give in to the cost of ruining our beautiful friendship and a bit of my life. But it happened.

The first tip received proved to be the wiser, and after a long time I read it like it is very easy to say " .. let it be, go out again and meet new people .. .. you'll see that sooner or later you'll love again .. ". Well at first exit was a blessing but I have not had the good fortune to meet and know new people who could somehow break free from thinking of you my , idealization that will inevitably put on the pedestal and put out the light around me. That same stubbornness I did give up and I did meet another girl, another who like you hit me and almost sank.
I went out with her several times already and I had a great time, several evenings where the desire for knowledge have you eased the pain of lost where I was with her more and think less of you.
Now I am a bit confused, I miss you and I would like to see her. Maybe I'm wrong but I fear that if ever I will go I feel you'll come back and awkwardly free combine a disaster, I'm afraid to love another person is not 100% and this will do me good but I fear it will not make me happy.

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E 'success even more attention

Hey! but that happens. I can not say anything that now you take it and walk away annoyed. I agree that I have noted that it is a time when you are particularly sensitive, but I do not think I deserve this your attitude! I'm sure the same thing without the others around that would take less fanfare than it was. In a second you made me go in the wrong (if any!?) Attracted me to these questions yet, "but what have you done " or the usual sense of protection and female complicity "in fact you could answer better "or the classic" you were wrong. "
Well, after I called, and twice, and have not responded, you have taken your revenge I figured I try not too and not mull over. In the past this hurt and your attitude I would have definitely done a great sorrow, and now I'm convinced that I will not have had the touch and said the words that you expect, but if you want to get the go ahead.
Exchange page.
Last night I went out for the third time with a girl, this time alone, no schedules, both free and eager to know. more I see her and not think of you and plus I'm good . This simple equation that I have repeated many, many times I'm trying on my skin that is true . At one point it was raining and for a moment there was an attempt to embrace under the umbrella of our clashed hands behind our backs creating us a bit of embarrassment .. then you take me under his arm and that was it. We greeted each and everyone went home, we walked a lot but I feel that we are only beginning.

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Now I understand that reaction that you got nervous, in front of others that call to my line, that your face looked at me revealing that sullen anger. Immediately after you told me that is a period in which you are particularly sensitive, but do not deny that your behavior surprised me in the first me and then the others who were there who have asked me " What did I do wrong ". The brain is constantly working
and sometimes gives us the result of our question when we least expect it, I often lavandomi that such teeth in the morning I get answers to questions asked since just before sleep or when I'm talking with someone after a while I understand best joke or the finesse that I said at the beginning of the speech. You told me you miss me some time ago and I am honest in acknowledging that it is the same for me, this condition of mutual disinterest and minimum set by our too many commitments on the whole is a convenient way to stay healthy and having regard to the recent results and also a good remedy for each other not hurt us. As mentioned
now I understand your reaction, I've launched a love that I had always sweet, I'm back 'm sorry I hurt at home and eager to Thee consular write a text or even just looking for an opportunity to say hello and tell you I'm sorry . "No, wait" I said and I now realize I made the right choice, pretend nothing because I am sure that this way you do was just to get some attention at the time, but I know how much I can sorry a bit unfair .

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summary

It 's true that many things go by and there are more, but the feelings, those feelings intensely, are almost like a branding that does not burn as before but which is clearly visible on the skin.
And so the weeks passed and I feel what I feel for you is fading day by day, as if the love I feel for you is a big flame that needs you to burn, take care of your wood and as the revived and your eyes, your eyes that make me believe that it can burn forever.
But with time, ah how long, I realized that this is not the fire that must burn, you're a friend and the feelings that you can try each other for that are similar but very different and far from what they want, perhaps and perhaps selfishly, because I'm left to kidnap the thoughts and hearts on your beautiful personality, your sincere smile and all those little touches that make you simply unique.
you choose, the stubborn fact that you're the one I have excluded all at once and clearly choosing him in a way you've given up on me, so you've chosen a path that makes you happy (and see) but I I can not go and follow you, not now, who knows if in the future will be strong enough ..
One of the first advice they gave me is to relax and look around, but it is not easy and I soon realized why there are different ways to do it and I'm wrong because I was looking for the big girls in the other, something you remember and like the idealized figure that I made you. Ah
many errors I have committed, if I look back makes me smile .. how far we need to do more and how to learn.

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And now

You told me I miss , meet me one evening when we are free to keep us and you showed me. Well among the many evenings we chose yesterday and today I'm here with this gloomy day to ask me if it was the last night where we met and we were good together and when was the last. The impression you gave me is " want to see each other and stay together, but everything was veiled by self-interest in telling your story of this period, the problems and concerns that sometimes we share and sometimes we distance ourselves, giving me the feeling of being able to say you saw that we are still friends and we still have a dialogue . For my part I did not want to ask you much about what you do or what combination because you are always vague and tell me your version is almost always a rose-and-flowers that I can not sincerely listen to, oh let it be clear that if you are just so happy for you!
I can not deny that I was glad to see you and spend some time with you obviously knew what they were in control in the later evening, but this time was different and do not deny that at some point I wanted to be somewhere else away from you as I am used to being in this period. Perhaps the same feeling I would also tested with another person, equally as happy as you and this makes me think that when things go wrong we want anything but to spend time with people full of life that you tell their experience and beautiful as life's smiles. Bho!? I throw them this thought as I came.
Honestly now I think I do not want to see you and in a sense I would like to tell you. By this I mean do not leave us alone or seek other opportunities to share something, an experience. It 'clear that they want to avoid unhealthy or if there is an opportunity but the sms, email or that those attentions were an inexhaustible source of joy for me to dedicate it to someone else.
This story made me a joke, has deprived me of a good relationship with you and other people who donated to love, not with the same intensity but the feeling is mutual I feel genuine. I feel that I do not want to see is not just for today but it is different than in the past, not the result of the lack of attention that you showed me yesterday and it is not no longer see me around with the fear of meeting you but is to take really aware of the situation and how you have the power to make me feel awfully good and evil. I hope this has ceased.

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Logbook

After many days and many episodes have followed, this is the umpteenth time I to write what I feel and now I am determined to get to the bottom. As a piece of paper crumpled and thrown in the trash when you start writing, I removed parts and whole post perhaps because I felt like it and because I was a bit confused.

E 'came the storm.
In the past I told you that my boat is damaged and, fortunately, the sea is calm, I am not referring only to the emotional situation to you but it was a mix of moods and concerns of 360. The sea was calm and my boat is not risked much, just needed to regroup and start again for his route. Clearly, among the many concerns or rather what I feel my feelings, but I guess I still feel for you played a crucial role and had only one smile or your attention and to feel good after bad.
Have you noticed this posting and you come to me to say, in your way, honest and vulnerable with tears in his eyes and choking voice. I apparently thought I will be strong and perhaps a little detached but it was a blow to see you so, almost a wreck, and I would bend over backwards to make you happy and see you smile and all that I could combine is to make you jealous because of other apparently thought that friendships do not touch. Thinking about it is nice that someone cries for someone else, because somehow the feelings must take shape and hug you tried as a comfort and where did you go left touched my heart and made it clear because you are fragile and true, sincere and sensitive, tender and sweet and as care for me.
Then silence for a few days, where I held the call or write to you not fall back into addiction.
Then another episode, a difficulty of a person we know, a bad thing that prompted you to call me to find comfort again.
I'm confused, I am conscious and vulnerable to these, your behavior, but I am not aware that the right person to comfort you, but only one of many that after your boyfriend may be near you and help you, so from this point I have no castles in air, though with less intensity continuous not too much not to try not to break this thin thread that keeps us in touch and do not delude myself that binds us.

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It is not easy. The friend with whom you trust organizes a night and the idea is to avoid since I have spoken to my knowledge, justifying it all with a problem times and find the right evening that fits all inevitably excludes some ..

told me about it and does not seem right, then the instinct that this time I began to follow leads me to call you and make sure to delay times and find the right night for you. I do well aware that to go against My intentions gained through reason, but I feel and I am sure that is the least worst way. Well, now I'm back from this mysterious event and should not be much.

The fault is not yours or gestures of affection between you ( every detail is air that I miss ) I try not to see me and inevitably catches the eye at inopportune moments, the fault is not even my friend trying to defend myself in organizing the evening, but I would not say it's my fault that I made sure that even you could choose to be. As I also said
tonight closes a circle, the perfect ending for a holiday last year now waiting for a long time find a year later to revive and add that missing piece to the puzzle now complete.
Ok now it is a much good but I think this situation as a coupon, a test to see how far they have come, if I came near the coast or are still on the high seas alternation of the waves that I they feel lost and aimless.

The night is based and the full moon
gave us a gift from the atmosphere only
But I'am I'am still
Every detail and air that I'm missing
And if so ... it will be spring. ..
But the excuse does not hold anymore, no, no ...

It 's late and is now going to sleep, but I ask this night to bring peace and to address the council tomorrow to shake that I made a mistake tonight around my head and to wake up and walk tall. Also I wish I could say tomorrow that

I never cry for you I will not do anything like
nononono
... Yes, I admit, a little 'thinking of you But I
avoidance, do not touch me more

Do not touch me more and never cry for you now seem impossible, but if I think I thought I could not even fall in love with you.

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Bleed It happens in the evening to see that you're alive

First of all thanks M and Fax for the two previous post comments that deserve more attention than any other thought that I can write here now .. We inevitably have moved, I took a hard road and I feel that after all I'm getting used to, when I happen to think your picture is now faded, faded, just not clear and the same desire to think I feel it is failed. A wheel can tell you that I resigned and decided not to seek and create opportunities to see us, something inevitably happens but rare. In this situation he could not knock on my door that solitude, but I have not opened, or rather I went out the back door to meet her and have not returned to the streets to discover what is and reinvetarmi without you. I was lucky enough to find old friends who like a bit thirsty plants needed to recover a little water now and after a few weeks of attendance took effect and flourish. Thanks to these people, I discovered what I was missing life, another kind of life, the pure and simple, made of football games, out of the pub and spent the weekend in the mountains or the sea marked by carelessness. not let us take it too seriously! I realize that I did not arrive, there are so many things I want to do and what I am doing I am sorry not to share them with you or tell how it should be, but we chose tacitly not to attend and I would say that our mutual aim is working fine. Some time ago I was struck by the lyrics of Iris Goo Goo Dolls in particular the lines:

And you can not fight the tears That Is not coming Or the
moment of truth in your lies When everything
Seems like the movies Yeah you
bleed just to know your alive

that " you bleed just to know that you still are alive " l ' I discovered suddenly being a bit careful and I was literally kidnapped, and finally in the same song

And I do not want the world to see me Cause I do not think
That they'd Understand When everything's
Made To Be Broken
I just want you to know who I am

the verse " everything is made to be destroyed " I spurred to think of living the present intensely and had no regrets when the beautiful things of now there are no more because life has taught us that everything has a beginning has an end also .

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One day they told me I should lose you to find you, but I do not think so .. Another quiet day
moved by a sudden your sms, which certainly shook me: "Honestly : x is better you see me and feel as little as possible, right? " and without thinking I wrote that " It 's true the other way and I think I have told and shown. "just recently on the occasion of your birthday I did somersaults to visit you at home by joining the tour in a thousand commitments. It 'clear that if you ask me to hang out with your friends and your boyfriend is very different from that just to be with with you as we have always done, the situation is not stable yet, but better.
The second part of my response was "I hope that in future are still opportunities for us this type of question 'live'. "terminated by a" Hello:) "I could not resist the temptation to make you notice my impatience with sms / msn / mail / etc. To talk about serious things, we no longer take the time to talk and looking at us in the eye?
I went running to download a bit of tension built up in those days and reflect on every step of the happiness and wellbeing ; of a sudden I untied the two concepts leading to the conclusion that I'm not happy ( Well it was not hard to admit), but I'm fine now. So you can be good or bad irrespective of happiness. This awareness helped me to make peace inside, I took away the sadness, which spread to my state of mind, now the unhappiness and a part of me that does not interfere anymore. I think I lose sleep again in the future when I happen to feel good and be happy, for sure I'll get to making the right choices and play my cards right.
Other thoughts I now turn to the head, but I have to take some time to think about: we are really dependent on people we care ? name that I can give to the desire to see and spend time with them ? we share the desire to love and give attention to another person ?

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Beam Communications and thoughts to be well down from the stage

is doing better, much better. Sooner or later I had to really turn the page, and by decision of the sick had in mind. Summer is now a memory, good memories of past highs and lows, now is the life resumes with its commitments, and unexpected rhythms. Recently I met your boyfriend to my house, not to make it possible to believe as the probability that we do not expect, I greeted him but he wanted to do 2chiacchere and I came in against it, we talked about your birthday, I thanked for their help and then told me of this and that what he was doing and how it happened, I looked into his eyes without seeing his look elsewhere because he was distracted.
ascended into the house I was expecting the usual reaction, but this time is slipping all over me without affecting my mood.
This new awareness makes me feel better, but lacks an anchor to all this, I feel that the road is still uphill and full of twists, the goal, or happiness, I have not seen yet but I am sure that sooner or later, hairpin after the hairpin, and it will review the new mine. It
it took me time to be a bit better, perhaps because they are stubborn or maybe because I have made up his mind that you are the woman of my life.
friends, distractions and commitments play for sure .. then you go out tonight again and we celebrate another birthday!

ps: yesterday I saw the film on DVD "Into the Wild" and a couple of sentences struck me
" But you're wrong if you think that the joys of life are mostly of the relations between the people God has placed happiness is everywhere, everywhere, in everything we experience, we need only to change the way we look at things "
" When you forgive you love, and when you love has been illuminated by the light of God "
" When you forgive, you love. And When you love, God's light shines upon you. "

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But those who want to cheat!? The reality in which I live is muffled by the false idea of \u200b\u200bthe happy ending, thinking that things must always end well, it's just a matter of time .. I would take the life of a body without soul now, try and try to restore hope to infinity without wanting to see and accept that the flame has already been switched off for some time. What the hell I got in mind? Because I think maybe in the future things may change for the better: I'm wasting my time just behind you! 'm Hanging on your lips for too long, but I wonder what I've become!?
Today I contacted your boyfriend secretly riding the complicity that inevitably was to be created between us, and now I am not sincere in his to his involvement and this really makes me sick. But why did I in this situation?
Yesterday, joking with a girl I know I have just summed up what happened to me in the months before her and with a simplicity that I was blown away I said simply and quietly, "Hey, you're going to throw yet because of the time? "
Now I feel that I would actually go out and pass this storm, sheltered from seeing you and that invariably makes me feel bad though in a different way (see you or hear from him, two knives that pierce my heart in a different way).
I always thought to be a winner, full of confidence and fortitude. In sports as in life everyday I have always ridden the motto of "never give up " and the few victories that came awareness have fueled this wrong .. now I look inside myself and I feel stupid, arrogant who does not want to stay connected to reality because it accepts and prefers to remain in the oblivion of self-pity and victimhood assisted by a friend who loves me and see me so sorry.
But hell, open your eyes: Life is now! The reality of today sucks, is a snapshot of this period will be very different from life, looking ahead and live forward.
Now I have to be a good selfish, take the reins of life, my life and start immediately. I will not even read the post, what I wrote and the public remains so as it is.
are romantic? I do not know, I'm a loser and a dazed? perhaps one that comes to us, a dreamer and a dreamer, one who does most of the trips with the fantasy and back down to earth with only the bare essentials, using a glove with his life with the fear of ruin. Just now you change and you change the way we say " enough, now you change " without giving effect to a tone , the show is over and it's time to get down off the stage. Goodbye old me

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The phone call that changes

Yesterday

a long chat, a few days ago an impromptu lunch with ice cream, and today we saw of stric and I think back to you with every breath. I confess that I have now realized that I kidnapped your eyes, your eyes enchant me and I tame as a kitten in search of pampering. When I look at your face and the light of your smile I would not go away anymore, I would stand there in silence with you.
confess to still be in love, hopelessly out of control of reason that can not decide. In a few days, this wave will pass and maybe come back down to earth, but now I can not and do not want to go.
imprevidibilità The life was manifested again yesterday, your boyfriend called me to conivolgermi in organizing your birthday party surprise, as I was always kind and helpful, and once the conversation I wanted to disappear. We greeted the news but unfortunately that will not be there because fortunately I have another commitment, another party; obvious that I chose to come to your pocket and give to another, but providentially I will be out town and I am sure that it is the right choice.
I do not understand why it is that my integrity jumps due to a small incident, my morale after the call has gone underground, and the wound started to bleed into the port. Yesterday evening I
I must have been my friends for a great company and luckily I stayed because I really tried on a Friday where he made a little later ..
now lives in September I was overwhelmed and busy, I hope that tomorrow the restart routine (which until recently I would have hated) and my mind is distracted by things to do.
wonderful and I'm sorry you do not look and do not give you the attention that we are both accustomed to, but it is the only way I can go now.

The greatest pains are those which we ourselves are the cause - Sophocles

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Today we met again after the holidays, the occasion was an event that did not depend on us but we have participated in both and we both knew that the other was there and we'd certainly seen.
We talked a bit and then we went home on foot, I went with you as in the past and it was a good time to be together and share our experiences and intentions of the holidays for this new year as well say that part of the month of September.
Last night I spoke with a friend and his speech was focused on ' falling in love, in the past we had thought him several times and came to this conclusion when you are in love, but has not paid you have to put in mind to suffer and heal after several years (at least 3), when you meet your loved one is natural to be there badly, but the time we get to feel good again shows us how close we are to healing. I mean today we met and even now I think of you and try to feel something for you, tonight I hope that thought will be slowed down because I need to sleep .. but if it all just pass me the next few days then they are very far away. Well this is not a real rule, but it made me think that all things happen just like that and I hope to see you in the future and seek new opportunities to meet and pick up where we left and did not suffer more for it.

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Lights and shadows

The holidays were wonderful and it is almost a month since we've seen or heard. You know when I got home and run away while I did not know much about you. Now I'm sure you're back and we are both in this city that is slowly becoming populated, but neither is the first step to call, to be alive.
When I was away I was fine, of course I used to think of you sometimes but your picture was faded and did not make me suffer. This week I tried not to think away with your boyfriend (your first real vacation "alone") and I believe I was good at not hurting me. In these past three days have amplified my uncertainties, everything started crossing the front door and returning to the daily routine.
Now I feel a bit confused, I feel the need to finally go and see a bit of time with you but I also feel that it is just not see you. In a way it seems to me that my situation has improved and I'm afraid that seeing you with him again and that makes me sink again.
Sometimes I happen to call my name (I hope not to get mad) about to shake from one thought to wake up and open their eyes to this, I refer to be well connected to the life that flows in and out of limbo that confuses me and I numb. Sometimes I think I have become cold and numb, I feel that makes it imperative not to lose something I love on the street. I am convinced that you will not be the last I really loved that person and that gives me relief, have to be so.
I do not have a big push to renew our friendship, it's as if I was afraid to turn the switch and shed light on us to discover how beautiful you are and how much I love you, I would like to loosen a bit in order to prevent the lampandina your intervention and possibly screw it back later when the time comes.

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Goodbye clarified

busy day yesterday, I had to do many things but I thought hard about you and what happened to distract me from anything, once again, the instinct told me that I should see you and talk to you, I could not keep everything inside and from with this situation. At 20 I went out to do a bike ride and ease the tension accumulated during the day, I went out and found the courage to call you in the hope of seeing even just for 5 min.

I called you and you answered me with a strange voice, you do not expect it, I asked if there was a remote chance to see us and you told me you had to have dinner, maybe later .. unfortunately after I had plans to continue studying so we decided to see us immediately. Cycling towards your house, it was like to meet the emotions, I was full of tears and confusion, but with the desire to clarify not to be there still hurts.

I tied the bike and I made a phone call, you are fallen down and there was your boyfriend (yet another embarrassing situation) you are greeted and we made two steps, I immediately broke the ice beginning to speak; riassiumendo what happened in the 4 and a half hours following I can say with certainty that we have passed another test. I doubted you, your sincerity, trusting what I had told your friends and making false ideas. I understand that your failure and your not have caused them to be clear that I believed false ideas and which took the form of lies, this bubble that finally became unbearable together we made it explode, and no trains awareness that yesterday we made a new step forward in our friendship.

At one point we got into your house and did not happen for some time as we sat in the kitchen and ate watermelon to soothe the thirst for a long chat walk several times around the area where you live, and after we have thrown on the cake and two (6 to 2 for you) we ate an entire box of chocolate creams Conad .. eheh two gluttons that we are.

between there at midnight and said our goodbyes and I'm back to my reality of commitments and concerns, but with the mind far more peaceful, like a clear blue sky where the wind blew away the clouds of misunderstanding. Happy holidays

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Castle The library card

July and we still, I start Monday, but with a question: what to do now? Closed a speech he opens another, removed a concern that emerges here is another .. you can never be calm! The reaction was there and now I feel better, although there are quite popular at this time, find ourselves in the library with him also allowed me to get used to it and fix even the notion that " with you I do not even think, c 'it is he who makes you happy .. .
Suddenly the house of cards has fallen: a bit of time I've filled with lies.
say I do not know now if our report is or was beautiful because it is based on sincerity, speeches of any kind without censorship or masks, mutual criticism with the aim to build and improve because we love. Life has taught me to be suspicious and not believe what others say or do I mean, the beauty of you is that all my defenses were down more or less deliberately because your eyes that know me well will quickly find if there was something wrong .. hours thinking back I recall occasions when in fact some do not add up, situations in which there was something wrong, now I'm short, it is clear that you told me a lot of lies and made to believe a different reality .
Ok you lied to me about the university in general (testing data, dates appeals, various efforts ..) and your extra effort and who knows what else .. but do not want to think, you lied to me and we can be if we are only acquaintances, and there binds a relationship of deep friendship, but an open heart tell you that unfortunately is not so!
is not so because I would not hurt as I am feeling now, would not give me the strength to speak with your companions and friends of course and discover how far you've gone further in building the maps and plans of the castle As in times of trouble you wore a fake dress strong patched with lies. All I dropped him like a cold shower, one of them could not stay longer in silence, seeing in this situation, in this reality far removed from real life does not have it done and I said "Wake ! but do you think goes really well ?" followed by a series of recent and past secrets to your path of study and commitments, about the hardships and hard times that I've kept hidden ...
I feel cheated and I do not cope well with these conflicting feelings that I feel for you, perhaps the disappointment leads me to remain silent, but I know well and I know that eventually the nodes will be laid on the table and tell you what I think. I'm not angry or even want to stigmatize this to your behavior because who can say they never told a lie? maybe I feel like a non-invited at a party, an outcast from your life or even worse, one that makes you feel judged.
I'm very sorry, I leave for the mountains with a bitter taste and coldness towards you that from a certain side of the heart made me feel better, even head- you look into your eyes and smile even when I do not be "Happy Holidays


ps: yesterday your boyfriend asked me to go 2tiri basketball, but I was already committed, maybe we'll go today, but I still wonder now: is the right thing? I must not be tempted to ask him questions to see if the same lies have served up to him ..

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are in the library, our library. We are studying, they are concentrated and finished him. I have not tried anything, I made a gesture as a greeting, the time has stopped, at that time I was petrified. Then you came out, I took a deep breath and started to think. You are back a bit excited and I exchanged pleasantries, then I take a sheet and I note the situation and the feelings that I'm trying. I'm down, I read the book, I avoid looking up and look next to each other, I feel almost like the effect of an alarm clock, now my eyes are wide open. If I had the right concentration to study up tomorrow morning!
"Quiet " I repeat, the pen on the paper moves nervosa and calligraphy is a disaster.
" I do not come here to learn more " I think, " nay come when we are sure you do not meet and communicate without or justify my absence."
I hear you sometimes look at me because you feel a little embarrassed and clearly you were not expecting this visit, deliberately crossing your eyes because they convey so much information that I can not control.
"I would go " I confess, but then I think you'd better stay in my place, I did not have sought this time. I do not want to hear your whispers and I try to think of something else, but anything goes.
Now I have to stop writing on this piece of paper and go back to school on the book, I have to check my eyes and try not to distract. I know that what you read from now on will not make much sense and I know I'll lose part of the afternoon today .. but never mind, I could not imagine that would go well, while he goes out, perhaps to make calls, take a breath.
E 'over an hour and I look up, in the meantime, you turn left to take a break, I can not but notice that you are comfortable with, I look away and I think that never leaves you. This should make me switch off, disconnect power to what I feel for you and make me feel better in the short term. I put these four squiggles in your pocket and go back to what I was studying, but first I think " today will go out later than usual, certainly after you. "
Another pause, and then exits after all only a little part of him. I pull out this new package again (me smile) and try to focus even more on the books and I think that if he wants to tell me something I would be willing to talk to him, because when I arrived I started the conversation if he wants now is his turn. So far he does not speak, returning to the chapter, but to keep out of this tour package.
Ok, I get distracted again because I an idea crossed my mind like a flash: now wonder when we can find me and him alone to talk, talk about what they are in love with her to make him share and make sense of this cold that I have against him ; Calligraphy is now clarified to indicate that they are quieter, but obviously I think that " this is just a crazy idea " and I do not care anymore.
He got up and came out with the phone in hand with the use of air, then came back and approached me, ok here we are. He asked me one thing, I did not understand it now "sorry you can repeat ? ", he asked me if I came by bike, and if we could tie them together because in his view there were suspicions of a kind and his chain was not the best .. I dropped the book and went out with him (my first break) and we put the bikes close and tied together. I talk about this and that and then returned to the library, shortly after returning the other, but now time is running out for me and I greet you, you remain still for five minutes and I have an appointment that unfortunately I can not put off and I'm getting late.
After Saturday and Sunday when I think of things that we said Friday in a library is " hello, how are you "

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What is revolution?

What is revolution? ... In these days returns with the mind of the French Revolution, which is celebrated on July 14, day of the storming of the Bastille. But the French Revolution is not only the Bastille, Robespierre and the guillotine. What happened in France in 1789 was a new way of thinking about social life, politics, the role of individuals within that. Perhaps the French Revolution was the one that most influenced the next two centuries and was the mother of the other revolutions that took place in the world. But what is revolution? Personally I think the revolution is a social process that needs then force each person to evolve and explode. On the other hand seems indissoluble that every revolution needs its symbols and its leaders to identify with. But a revolution is not born overnight, is the result of years of ideas, of twenty that changes, thoughts and events, but most people. The Russian Revolution erupted in 1917, but if they are already seeing the first skirmishes in 1905. There are revolutions long and short, some involving a group of people, a nation, a continent, an entire social model. What we can say with certainty is that the revolution is synonymous with change. Today, many things change very quickly, but that will not lead away from the previous situation, change the facade, but it does not change the substance. The revolution is a change of substance, not the facade, the revolution left its mark, the revolution sometimes hurts, upsets and destroys and renews.
40 years ago, in 1968, the Cultural Revolution that devastated half the world was not just the beatings, some benches outside the windows and concerts .. it was a new way of wanting to face life, politics, beliefs and social relations in a society that was evolving and building a model of the previous war. That '68 is a process started from far away and exploded them at that time and in those places because he was only there and then that could burst, not before and not after.
For 40 years now is not about revolution, in the romantic sense of the term, but even the technical aspect and concrete can be said to have witnessed another kind of revolutionary movement (if not one of Bil Gates with the creation of the PC).
But I think there is something in the air, the commodification of man, his work and his knowledge is now at an advanced stage el'insofferenza grows, perhaps a fruit still immature, but that we or future generations have to be ready to seize, because revolutions are like exams ... never end.

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say yes

these days for various reasons, we visited more and right now, when I wanted to break away from you, peep the opportunities to attend. As always happens after we see are bright and clear as a cloudless sky, but at night the wind comes inevitably bring clouds laden with rain taking shape of tears. After you asked me to be careful not to let myself go and appreciate characters typical of a lover, I feel bad that we are living our relationship of friendship, as censored and then losing the spontaneity.
Now I'm confused and if I look inside I feel misrepresented, I feel less myself.
I'm accepting more and more output options, drinks, football games and evenings or weekends by the sea in an attempt to distract me and find me as a swimmer I feel that these strokes are made with the head off and oxygen me strength to continue, but invariably end up and when I climb the stairs to return home with their heads under water and I keep saying yes and distract me because I feel that cmq goes a bit better and that sooner or later will turn the page: I prefer the illusion of this illusion rather than on you.

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philosophizing ... A Communist in the sun

In these days of heat and nullafacezia the only thing that makes you lose liters of sweat may be the reading. I wanted to take our hands a compendium of Philosophy in high school memory dwelling on one of the most fascinating ancient philosophers: Parmenides .

Parmenides was the first to support the superiority of the rational interpretation of reality to the detriment of the interpretation of subjective meaning, which distort the objectivity of the trial. Parmenides required to judge the second reason: the reason, and not the eye (the senses) see the truth. Parmenides then existed only for the being, which by its nature, while the non-being is not and can not be. With this in Parmenides questions many of the things we take for granted: the movement, the becoming of things, their changing ... and all along the only reason to interpret the reality. His theory displaces and causes a crisis, it is paradoxical and fascinating at the same time.

For example will take up a written Zeno, a pupil of Parmenides, who dedicated his life to defend the ideas and the thought of his teacher. Through the story "Achilles and the tortoise " Zeno crease as we move into EALTA there. For Zeno

motion explains how the transition from a point of departure to a point of arrival. But to get to the point of arrival must arrive before the middle of this path, and to get to the middle of this route you get to the middle of the path that runs from the beginning to the middle, and so on, in essence, a man, to reach a position in space, it must always first take the intermediate segments and these segments, the space being infinitely divisible, are endless ... Now, how can Achilles reach the tortoise if it is grappling with the infinite division of space separating it from it?
infinite division of space means that Achilles actually never moves, but always remains stationary, unable to exit from the endless series of segments scored.

Furthermore, the movement is still a sequential series of snapshots (positions of buildings that follow one after the other), how can they take such positions moving real estate, where properties are? How can lead to the movement from non-movement?

Men who do not follow the path of truth, motivated by the interpretation of reality through reason, there is the struggle to match the appearance of significant contrary to the conclusions suggested by reason.

What can I say? will continue to fight!

Athlete cameltoe

last the sun, summer and the heat! In the radio these days are turning the song Venditti "A Communist to the sun." In this period where the left and trudges comunsti, those carefree, dreamers, idealists like me can be found at the harsh reality and relate affornatare capitalist and individualistic, carefree and happy this song gave me inspiration for some reflection.

The communist, who, with his battered old car to part the sea and the beach, he hates having to pay for to lie down on the sand and look at your own risk an alternative route is a bit 'bad luck and a bit' idealistic hero, ready to face the system that tries to oppose her little disobedience.

"Do not change, so you'll be always a dreamer," he says at one point the chorus. Dreams are the beaches, you can not privatize, no seats in parliament, can not have them removed. The dreams are ours and it is right to continue to cultivate them. Comrade Berlinguer said that we Communists are different from others, even in the sun we are unique because we always carry in our ideal and our dreams that we share together.

So dear friends, let's go to the freedom of a day in the sun, with our ingenuity and our dreams .. not much, but it is ours. Happy Summer!

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LOGBOOK 20

Today, ten years since my debut as a playwright.

was 19 May 1998 when he went to the Teatro Tasso in Naples, "All the women," my first play and small. In that show was already Ivan Castiglione, in fact, these ten years of work, also correspond to our friendship that only a few months later he added that with Giuseppe Miale Mauro.

This year has been very important for us, not deny it, but we like to believe is the result of ten years of "fatigue", almost artisan work to advance our understanding of theater and working together . Each

of us has his own individual experience, but knowing that you have a home to return to, however, has made us stronger.

After ten years we are here, still designing, still imagine a future in one way or another see us together. It 'clear, were also difficult years, I thought of giving up more than once and it was a thought not only mine, I guess. E 'is equally clear that there have been ups and downs in work and in the report, we have grown, we have changed, but in 2008 we are here to talk about "Gomorrah" and especially because of what abiamo built.

Now there are new friends, travel companions, I think of Francis Lever and Adriano Pantaleo, who brought a new life, but the tree is strong and will find us again, and hopefully for a long time to work together.

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The following public Katia Ippaso this article, it explains some concepts better than I do to Gomorrah in the theater. It 'also a way to thank her.

Katia Ippaso
It has spectacular effects but drags you into a black history of boys burned. With the weapons of nonviolence never ambiguous, evokes the violence of the Camorra's business: the line of the curtain that hides the blood money, staging pantomime "Company of Men." E '"Gomorrah" the reportage novel by Roberto Saviano, alchemical synthesis storytelling and self-defense without inquiry into the reality of the danger (otherwise, those words would not be born). Pending the homonymous film by Matteo Garrone, in competition at Cannes, April 25 "stage" Rai Due opens with the airing of the play of Saviano e Mario Gelardi, director of television Marisa Vesuvius (22.30). Gelardi says he is worried: "It is not the outcome of the program that makes me pensive, by its nature, the drama on television has no luck and all that will be judged with optimism. My thoughts revolve around the reception that will have the work: it was said that mine is a popular show, which like most public that the insiders. "Unknowingly, the theater gives us good news and forces us to measure ourselves on the meaning of the word" popular. "Che" Gomorra, "the show has not completely satisfied with the experts (which we incomprehensible, since it is a work that avoids the strict epicizzazione trivial crime, fiction by our favorite subject) goes to his credit, who has filled the theater as well. The painful focus of a loosening of political language the real human condition is not, of course, only a matter of debate specialist, and invests substantially the culture in our country is run by its most elite short-sighted, Saviano envious of a niche in the world, those who are not ashamed to go in the first line (only to then be forced to become internationally acclaimed as the phenomenon or voyeuristic: the writer twenty-nine, threatened with death by the Camorra runs today under escort). The show blatantly resembles the book. Yet it is the chamber version. Of the complex field fielded by Saviano, were isolated only five stories on the side of "hustlers" are Picatchu that the big boss wants to kill and die like the boss, Mariano set with Mr. Kalashnikov, and Kit Kat baby carrier of drugs. Young lord of the apocalypse, but it is a stakeholder who studied at Bocconi and has "specialized" in the recycling and disposal of toxic wastes. Then there is the innocent Pasquale, a tailor who sewed for a few Euros, without knowing it, the dress that Angelina Jolie wore to the Oscars. Finally he's there, Saviano, embodied by an actor out of the norm, Ivan Castiglione, able to show, through a dramatic physical pain that fear away, the loneliness of who is listening and only after hearing about. All this is popular? Not at all like people to work? If it were really so, we would be saved.

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DIOARIO BOARD Article 19

A few days after the airing of Gomorrah on RAI DUE, are very thoughtful.
It is not the outcome of the program that makes me pensive, by its nature, the theater has no luck on television, I am convinced that everything will come, à should be viewed with optimism. The excellent work done by the television director edition, Marisa Vesuvius returns exactly the atmosphere of the show.
My thoughts revolve around your reception that will have my work in more than one occasion it was said that Gomorrah is a popular entertainment, that appeals more to the public and the experts. It 'a show that appeals to a certain kind of theater critic, let us say, some' militant, or at least the company is sensitive to stimuli and only those on the theater.
exception of certain Masolino D'Amico, one of the most glorious names of theatrical criticism, which was very generous words for Gomorrah.
Other insiders, directors, actors, authors, see this to be "popular" of the show, its major failing. Yet, I still remember that this project had a very long gestation and as the book of Robert, has gone to plan then riguardevole achieve recognition.
I think of all those people (popular?) That we encountered with running the show, many of them have wanted to show the affection and esteem for us, both on the blog on myspace pages that all company owns. I think about them and what they have given us, so that the term "popular" has meaning for me absolutely positive. There
awaits debut in Germany on June 12, and then a long tour that starts October 14th and I'm sure they will keep the affection of old friends and new.
Let me speak in these terms because for all of us, the intellectual and artistic integrity has always been a duty, I wonder how many can say the same thing.
It 's weird I know, but for some the anticamorra could be a fad, like shoes with platform shoes!

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Gomorrah on TV

FRIDAY 'April 25 - 23:30

RAI STAGE TWO

GOMORRAH

written by Roberto Saviano e Mario Gelardi

theater director Mario Gelardi

Directed television Marisa Vesuvius

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FOR THE WOUNDED DURING ANNALISA

Yesterday, March 27th was the anniversary of the death of Annalisa Durante. For this occasion we were asked to make a replica of "the wound". Guests of morning, in addition to 550 middle and high school students and the province of Naples, The Ass. Corrado Gabriele, The ass. Gambale, Mayor Rosa Russo Ierivolino, the father of Anna and Don Luigi Merla. He led
Conchita Sannino.
today's newspapers recorded the record of what happened. I also want to bring it back to avoid the usual assumptions made in the press.
There have been two events of the morning. When reading a piece by Roberto Saviano, in memory of journalist Giancarlo Siani, there was applause of a small (real) group of guys, when Ivan Castiglione gives the name of Toto Reina.
Honestly it surprised me and I believed that these boys had not understood what they were doing.
It 'clear that some journalists show a certain disdain, scorn due will be missed.
I do have a question, a question I always ask myself when I talk about how the Camorra-stand for?
If the idea that the guys at one of the most heinous criminals in our country is represented in a fiction, then it is not difficult to understand why the boys were so shallow in that applause. Applause of which perhaps have not even understood the meaning.
Of course if someone was talking about the Mafia and the Camorra in school (who?) With competence and conscience, perhaps there would be less confusion and avoid creating people so stupid! Or more simply, was the game of some bored kids in front of hundreds who cheered at the memory of the victims and witness of the Father of Annalisa Durante.

Second episode.
E 'was invited onstage by the Mayor of Naples. Only to announce his name the boys began to whistle, first softly, then, when he started talking, more noise. The mayoress
not been made to kill and with a spirit that rivals the Montessori teaching, he urged the boys to whistle more because it left her indifferent, he also urged to make farts because that would also respond.
Needless to say, has been widely contented.
It was not a political matter, because the actions of Gabriel, and were applauded and Gambale, these advisors are in the same line-election of the Mayor.
Talking to kids is not easy, sometimes I gave up, or I have been forced to tighten up the tone, but somehow we must handle it. It 'clear that the children especially when they are many, easy to respond to provocation.

Once again my actor friends, Ivan Castiglione, Giuseppe Miale Mauro, Adriano Pantaleo and Daria D'Antonio, have demonstrated a rare sensitivity and for that I thank them. How to thank Don Luigi
Merla that he has been able to speak clearly and sincerity. Today
some message telling me really worried that there is no hope in this city. I do not know if there is hope but I also know that I have a hard head and the gap will continue until I bumped into this wall of indifference and inadequacy.