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One day they told me I should lose you to find you, but I do not think so .. Another quiet day
moved by a sudden your sms, which certainly shook me: "Honestly : x is better you see me and feel as little as possible, right? " and without thinking I wrote that " It 's true the other way and I think I have told and shown. "just recently on the occasion of your birthday I did somersaults to visit you at home by joining the tour in a thousand commitments. It 'clear that if you ask me to hang out with your friends and your boyfriend is very different from that just to be with with you as we have always done, the situation is not stable yet, but better.
The second part of my response was "I hope that in future are still opportunities for us this type of question 'live'. "terminated by a" Hello:) "I could not resist the temptation to make you notice my impatience with sms / msn / mail / etc. To talk about serious things, we no longer take the time to talk and looking at us in the eye?
I went running to download a bit of tension built up in those days and reflect on every step of the happiness and wellbeing ; of a sudden I untied the two concepts leading to the conclusion that I'm not happy ( Well it was not hard to admit), but I'm fine now. So you can be good or bad irrespective of happiness. This awareness helped me to make peace inside, I took away the sadness, which spread to my state of mind, now the unhappiness and a part of me that does not interfere anymore. I think I lose sleep again in the future when I happen to feel good and be happy, for sure I'll get to making the right choices and play my cards right.
Other thoughts I now turn to the head, but I have to take some time to think about: we are really dependent on people we care ? name that I can give to the desire to see and spend time with them ? we share the desire to love and give attention to another person ?

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Beam Communications and thoughts to be well down from the stage

is doing better, much better. Sooner or later I had to really turn the page, and by decision of the sick had in mind. Summer is now a memory, good memories of past highs and lows, now is the life resumes with its commitments, and unexpected rhythms. Recently I met your boyfriend to my house, not to make it possible to believe as the probability that we do not expect, I greeted him but he wanted to do 2chiacchere and I came in against it, we talked about your birthday, I thanked for their help and then told me of this and that what he was doing and how it happened, I looked into his eyes without seeing his look elsewhere because he was distracted.
ascended into the house I was expecting the usual reaction, but this time is slipping all over me without affecting my mood.
This new awareness makes me feel better, but lacks an anchor to all this, I feel that the road is still uphill and full of twists, the goal, or happiness, I have not seen yet but I am sure that sooner or later, hairpin after the hairpin, and it will review the new mine. It
it took me time to be a bit better, perhaps because they are stubborn or maybe because I have made up his mind that you are the woman of my life.
friends, distractions and commitments play for sure .. then you go out tonight again and we celebrate another birthday!

ps: yesterday I saw the film on DVD "Into the Wild" and a couple of sentences struck me
" But you're wrong if you think that the joys of life are mostly of the relations between the people God has placed happiness is everywhere, everywhere, in everything we experience, we need only to change the way we look at things "
" When you forgive you love, and when you love has been illuminated by the light of God "
" When you forgive, you love. And When you love, God's light shines upon you. "

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But those who want to cheat!? The reality in which I live is muffled by the false idea of \u200b\u200bthe happy ending, thinking that things must always end well, it's just a matter of time .. I would take the life of a body without soul now, try and try to restore hope to infinity without wanting to see and accept that the flame has already been switched off for some time. What the hell I got in mind? Because I think maybe in the future things may change for the better: I'm wasting my time just behind you! 'm Hanging on your lips for too long, but I wonder what I've become!?
Today I contacted your boyfriend secretly riding the complicity that inevitably was to be created between us, and now I am not sincere in his to his involvement and this really makes me sick. But why did I in this situation?
Yesterday, joking with a girl I know I have just summed up what happened to me in the months before her and with a simplicity that I was blown away I said simply and quietly, "Hey, you're going to throw yet because of the time? "
Now I feel that I would actually go out and pass this storm, sheltered from seeing you and that invariably makes me feel bad though in a different way (see you or hear from him, two knives that pierce my heart in a different way).
I always thought to be a winner, full of confidence and fortitude. In sports as in life everyday I have always ridden the motto of "never give up " and the few victories that came awareness have fueled this wrong .. now I look inside myself and I feel stupid, arrogant who does not want to stay connected to reality because it accepts and prefers to remain in the oblivion of self-pity and victimhood assisted by a friend who loves me and see me so sorry.
But hell, open your eyes: Life is now! The reality of today sucks, is a snapshot of this period will be very different from life, looking ahead and live forward.
Now I have to be a good selfish, take the reins of life, my life and start immediately. I will not even read the post, what I wrote and the public remains so as it is.
are romantic? I do not know, I'm a loser and a dazed? perhaps one that comes to us, a dreamer and a dreamer, one who does most of the trips with the fantasy and back down to earth with only the bare essentials, using a glove with his life with the fear of ruin. Just now you change and you change the way we say " enough, now you change " without giving effect to a tone , the show is over and it's time to get down off the stage. Goodbye old me

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The phone call that changes

Yesterday

a long chat, a few days ago an impromptu lunch with ice cream, and today we saw of stric and I think back to you with every breath. I confess that I have now realized that I kidnapped your eyes, your eyes enchant me and I tame as a kitten in search of pampering. When I look at your face and the light of your smile I would not go away anymore, I would stand there in silence with you.
confess to still be in love, hopelessly out of control of reason that can not decide. In a few days, this wave will pass and maybe come back down to earth, but now I can not and do not want to go.
imprevidibilità The life was manifested again yesterday, your boyfriend called me to conivolgermi in organizing your birthday party surprise, as I was always kind and helpful, and once the conversation I wanted to disappear. We greeted the news but unfortunately that will not be there because fortunately I have another commitment, another party; obvious that I chose to come to your pocket and give to another, but providentially I will be out town and I am sure that it is the right choice.
I do not understand why it is that my integrity jumps due to a small incident, my morale after the call has gone underground, and the wound started to bleed into the port. Yesterday evening I
I must have been my friends for a great company and luckily I stayed because I really tried on a Friday where he made a little later ..
now lives in September I was overwhelmed and busy, I hope that tomorrow the restart routine (which until recently I would have hated) and my mind is distracted by things to do.
wonderful and I'm sorry you do not look and do not give you the attention that we are both accustomed to, but it is the only way I can go now.

The greatest pains are those which we ourselves are the cause - Sophocles

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Rule dell'Innamorata

Today we met again after the holidays, the occasion was an event that did not depend on us but we have participated in both and we both knew that the other was there and we'd certainly seen.
We talked a bit and then we went home on foot, I went with you as in the past and it was a good time to be together and share our experiences and intentions of the holidays for this new year as well say that part of the month of September.
Last night I spoke with a friend and his speech was focused on ' falling in love, in the past we had thought him several times and came to this conclusion when you are in love, but has not paid you have to put in mind to suffer and heal after several years (at least 3), when you meet your loved one is natural to be there badly, but the time we get to feel good again shows us how close we are to healing. I mean today we met and even now I think of you and try to feel something for you, tonight I hope that thought will be slowed down because I need to sleep .. but if it all just pass me the next few days then they are very far away. Well this is not a real rule, but it made me think that all things happen just like that and I hope to see you in the future and seek new opportunities to meet and pick up where we left and did not suffer more for it.