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Logbook

After many days and many episodes have followed, this is the umpteenth time I to write what I feel and now I am determined to get to the bottom. As a piece of paper crumpled and thrown in the trash when you start writing, I removed parts and whole post perhaps because I felt like it and because I was a bit confused.

E 'came the storm.
In the past I told you that my boat is damaged and, fortunately, the sea is calm, I am not referring only to the emotional situation to you but it was a mix of moods and concerns of 360. The sea was calm and my boat is not risked much, just needed to regroup and start again for his route. Clearly, among the many concerns or rather what I feel my feelings, but I guess I still feel for you played a crucial role and had only one smile or your attention and to feel good after bad.
Have you noticed this posting and you come to me to say, in your way, honest and vulnerable with tears in his eyes and choking voice. I apparently thought I will be strong and perhaps a little detached but it was a blow to see you so, almost a wreck, and I would bend over backwards to make you happy and see you smile and all that I could combine is to make you jealous because of other apparently thought that friendships do not touch. Thinking about it is nice that someone cries for someone else, because somehow the feelings must take shape and hug you tried as a comfort and where did you go left touched my heart and made it clear because you are fragile and true, sincere and sensitive, tender and sweet and as care for me.
Then silence for a few days, where I held the call or write to you not fall back into addiction.
Then another episode, a difficulty of a person we know, a bad thing that prompted you to call me to find comfort again.
I'm confused, I am conscious and vulnerable to these, your behavior, but I am not aware that the right person to comfort you, but only one of many that after your boyfriend may be near you and help you, so from this point I have no castles in air, though with less intensity continuous not too much not to try not to break this thin thread that keeps us in touch and do not delude myself that binds us.

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It is not easy. The friend with whom you trust organizes a night and the idea is to avoid since I have spoken to my knowledge, justifying it all with a problem times and find the right evening that fits all inevitably excludes some ..

told me about it and does not seem right, then the instinct that this time I began to follow leads me to call you and make sure to delay times and find the right night for you. I do well aware that to go against My intentions gained through reason, but I feel and I am sure that is the least worst way. Well, now I'm back from this mysterious event and should not be much.

The fault is not yours or gestures of affection between you ( every detail is air that I miss ) I try not to see me and inevitably catches the eye at inopportune moments, the fault is not even my friend trying to defend myself in organizing the evening, but I would not say it's my fault that I made sure that even you could choose to be. As I also said
tonight closes a circle, the perfect ending for a holiday last year now waiting for a long time find a year later to revive and add that missing piece to the puzzle now complete.
Ok now it is a much good but I think this situation as a coupon, a test to see how far they have come, if I came near the coast or are still on the high seas alternation of the waves that I they feel lost and aimless.

The night is based and the full moon
gave us a gift from the atmosphere only
But I'am I'am still
Every detail and air that I'm missing
And if so ... it will be spring. ..
But the excuse does not hold anymore, no, no ...

It 's late and is now going to sleep, but I ask this night to bring peace and to address the council tomorrow to shake that I made a mistake tonight around my head and to wake up and walk tall. Also I wish I could say tomorrow that

I never cry for you I will not do anything like
nononono
... Yes, I admit, a little 'thinking of you But I
avoidance, do not touch me more

Do not touch me more and never cry for you now seem impossible, but if I think I thought I could not even fall in love with you.

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Bleed It happens in the evening to see that you're alive

First of all thanks M and Fax for the two previous post comments that deserve more attention than any other thought that I can write here now .. We inevitably have moved, I took a hard road and I feel that after all I'm getting used to, when I happen to think your picture is now faded, faded, just not clear and the same desire to think I feel it is failed. A wheel can tell you that I resigned and decided not to seek and create opportunities to see us, something inevitably happens but rare. In this situation he could not knock on my door that solitude, but I have not opened, or rather I went out the back door to meet her and have not returned to the streets to discover what is and reinvetarmi without you. I was lucky enough to find old friends who like a bit thirsty plants needed to recover a little water now and after a few weeks of attendance took effect and flourish. Thanks to these people, I discovered what I was missing life, another kind of life, the pure and simple, made of football games, out of the pub and spent the weekend in the mountains or the sea marked by carelessness. not let us take it too seriously! I realize that I did not arrive, there are so many things I want to do and what I am doing I am sorry not to share them with you or tell how it should be, but we chose tacitly not to attend and I would say that our mutual aim is working fine. Some time ago I was struck by the lyrics of Iris Goo Goo Dolls in particular the lines:

And you can not fight the tears That Is not coming Or the
moment of truth in your lies When everything
Seems like the movies Yeah you
bleed just to know your alive

that " you bleed just to know that you still are alive " l ' I discovered suddenly being a bit careful and I was literally kidnapped, and finally in the same song

And I do not want the world to see me Cause I do not think
That they'd Understand When everything's
Made To Be Broken
I just want you to know who I am

the verse " everything is made to be destroyed " I spurred to think of living the present intensely and had no regrets when the beautiful things of now there are no more because life has taught us that everything has a beginning has an end also .